What defines a successful marriage? Could it be the amount of sex you have? The number of children you have? How financially secure you are or even how well your house runs?
In nature anytime there is a union of 2 distinct things they form something else greater than each one individually. For instance, Hydrogen and Oxygen form water which sustains life, water and sunlight which causes plant life to flourish or how those same plants use the carbon dioxide you breathe out to also produce oxygen for you to breathe.
Marriage is just as powerful and productive. It’s not about where you start but making goals and growing, not necessarily just financially but growing together in your relationship and how you work to create a better stronger honest and secure union.
A successful marriage also realizes this truth, that a relationship takes purposeful deliberate work to be and stay successful.
I would define a successful relationship where you take the time out of your day to listen to each other. Whether you had a long day at work or you have been working on a project for a few weeks, we all need someone to talk and vent to and who better to do that with than the person that you are in a relationship with. Not only does it help you get things off of your chest, but giving each other your undivided attention at some point will help you reconnect and spark intimacy between you.
Take some time for yourself. Just like how water is good for you but it is possible to drink too much for your body to handle, it is completely possible to spend too much time together that you can suffocate who you are. It is ok to respectfully spend time apart from one another, go out with friends or read a book alone. Anytime you are in a position to pour into someone else, you often need to refill and rejuvenate yourself. Talk to each other about your feelings and take the time needed to improve your personal health, both mentally, physically and spiritually.
Make love to each other! This is not always just physical touching and sexual acts but you each have your own love language. Some might prefer a home-cooked meal, to be verbally affirmed and encouraged or simply quality time spent together. I know my wife loves to spend time together doing something as simple as watching TV and acts of service like cleaning our her car. Whatever you decide to do make your action purposeful and meaningful without expecting a reciprocated act. Love is not “if you do that I will do this”. Real love says I am doing this for you because I love you. Let your actions say I love you, not just your mouth!
In your actions of love towards one another, it can certainly be possible to allow yourself to take advantage of each other, especially if you come to just expect the acts from one another. Whether something special is happening or not, learn how to appreciate each other and your time together and put down the distractions. It can certainly be beneficial to your relationship to put down the cell phone and/or pause the TV when your partner is talking to you.
Do not compare YOUR relationship to what you see on social media networks or otherwise anywhere else. For one, people will only show you what they want you to see so if you are going to compare anyway, don’t let it be to the perfect rendition of love that you are shown as you have no idea what goes on behind the door or when the camera is not on.
Another thing you are going to want to check in your marriage is how often you pray for one another. You may or may not believe in the power but there is a emotional connection that occurs on a much deeper level when you can pray for your spouse even in the midst of going trough a tough time together. How often do you pray for one another? How often do you pray together? Praying and seeking God for your spouse ahead of what your needs are can be a powerful way to connect not just a emotional level but spiritually as well.
The one thing about marriage is that there are no 2 marriages that are exactly alike and just because you do not do everything on this list does not mean that your marriage is not perfect for the 2 of you. Let your love be unique, let your love be yours. Trust each other and enjoy the time you have together.
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Good stuff!