We’ve been there, if you are married and breathing you’ve been there. Anytime you are dealing with anyone else and their own individual opinions some one is bound to get upset, especially when both parties are pretty are set. Arguing, hot tempered conversations, quarreling… Whatever you call it, most people don’t like to talk about it.
From my experience, having a argument (or heated discussion) is a perfectly normal occurrence in any marriage. There are a few rules though that must be followed if there is to be growth afterwards.
1. Be respectful
2. Keep your tone in check
3. Pray and ask God for guidance
When talking to your spouse about a topic that can be pretty heated it is quite easy for a “shady” comment to slip out. Be respectful, be kind and be loving, even when it’s hard to! Don’t return shade with shade, that’s a good way to stifle the conversation and miss out on the opportunity to connect with your spouse.
This leads into the next rule, your tone!
If you sound like you are upset and angry, you will only guide the conversation in that direction. Don’t let the conversation be about finances and then add a negative tone to your voice! Listen, conversations about money DO need to be had for a healthy home but money is A MAJOR reason why some marriage fail. There is beauty in struggling together and making it out… Together! Trust in God and trust in His process. I know not understand everything when you want to can be quite frustrating, but don’t take your frustrations about ‘life happening’ out on your spouse. Instead, you two work better together and work better with a clear mind. Don’t add anger to the mix.
If Men ought to always pray, before a hot seated topic is discussed is certainly not a time to forsake that! Pray for God to be involved and that in all things, even your conversation that He gets the glory. In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path.
“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2 KJV
This was So right on time!!! I am convicted but grateful, This was Almost me toDay, in a discussion about career moves. This truly blessed my soul. I am still learning and my husband and I are still growing. We habe overcome so much together! We have proven we are more than conquerors! I am humbled…
Hey we've all been there! Its only human, but when we are shown our own faults it is up to us to pray, ask God for forgiveness and to change. Love you sis!