This is how it goes, when someone hurts us and that pain hurts you to your core the first thing that usually happens (if you’re like me) is you draw back. That’s only natural though, you touch a hot stove you quickly draw back, step on a Lego in the middle of the night, you holler out in pain screaming dear God what just happened, but you draw back quickly and hug your foot.
The point is we do a quick assessment of potential injuries and remove ourselves from the source of the affliction.
What about deep wounds though? Not the kind of wound where you stick your finger with a pin and then immediately suck on it. The kind where if you don’t go get professional help something bad will happen heavy loss of blood, infection or worse.
Often times when we are deeply hurt emotionally, we draw back and stay there. We may seek help initially but for the main part we remain guarded. So what happens, that deep wound begins to heal on the surface but underneath infections grow.
I call it functioning from your sick bed. You on the surface are fine, but underneath hatred, bitterness and apathy have taken root. I don’t know about you but I’ve been there. In this state, if left unchecked you really hurt and offend those around you. Everything someone said feels like a personal assault against you so you lash out… unfortunately, you have just become the villain; the one responsible for the hurt and harm.
We’ve all encountered someone who seemingly lashes out at everyone around them. To them, they are most likely defending and guarding themselves but to everyone else, they are malicious in their actions. You’ve heard the saying, “A animal is most dangerous when it’s cornered”, well a heart is most damaged when the persons actions are constantly offensive.
However, instead of sitting in a holding pattern waiting for things to get better you have to actively seeking out your healing with both a open mind and open heart. No one wants to correct a wrong done against them. Why would you, it’s not like whatever happened is really truly your fault anyway right. The only thing you can ever truly control in a situation like this is how you feel about what happened and your reaction to what happened. To take control though the first thing you are going to need to do is forgive the person that hurt you.
I completely understand it seems almost impossible when if you thought about this person’s transgression hard enough you, you’ll probably tear up. But forgiving them is not for their sakes, but your own. The sooner you let it go the sooner you can rid yourself of these festering feelings.
Once you forgive them, forgive yourself. It’s ok to have the feelings you harbored, anyone would. It’s normal, you don’t have to hate yourself but you can learn from this to grow into a better stronger you.
Lastly allow God to work on it. After you’ve done all you can do, God has the final say so. While we look at the outward appearance God looks at the heart. It’s not our place to judge someone for an offense against us let God handle it.
I’ve been hurt and became the villain of my own story and hurt others. I’m sure we all have at one point or another, they key though is to get back up and allow God to handle it. Once you do that I promise you’ll be free of it.
Above all else remember, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12 KJV
We don’t defeat spiritual enemies with attitudes and remaining in our feelings. We do so with our praise.